Love Lost and Forlorn

Everywhere I go
He's there, staring back at me
Like a ghost of my memories
A reflection of my mind

There are no words of comfort
There is no peace in my head
Only the sorrow that consumes me
The pain i feel inside

heart vs head

im done.
i dont want to call you.
i dont want to be checking up on you so you would talk to me.
i want to stop fooling myself.

but if i leave, you wont come find me.
you wont come after me.
you wont ask me to stay.

but i want you to.
i want you to say you miss me.
i want you to come running after me.
i want you to look for me when i dont show up.
i want you to say you care.
i want you to tell me i mean something to you.

but i dont.
so if i leave, i will lose you.
and thats the last thing i want.
but its the right thing to do.

Wheres My Sense and Sensibility

EMO ALERT!

Ive been reading Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen and one of the main chars Marianne falls in love with young and dashing Willoughby who both have a total attraction to each other and enjoy each others company completely. But then he tells her he has to go away and wont be back for a long time.

Some of u might see how the nostalgia has hit me. Longing for my summer romance in which i met and fell in love with my prince charming. Only for him to disappear and not tell me. (you know its you if your reading this).

I was so frustrated when i read that Willoughby left. In my head i was screaming, "Why did you leave her, if you loved her so!" So there were strings attached and the path ahead was difficult, but with time and patience, it might have worked out.

I was beyond frustrated now, flipping through the end of the book frantically, wanting and needing to find out if Willoughby came back to Marianne with a million apologies and a hoping heart. Wanting and needing to know my own destiny, if he would run back to me and tell me he was an idiot and that he was sorry.

Willoughby and Marianne did not end up together. Annoyed of being a hopeless romantic, i threw the book on the floor and ran for my only source of comfort.

The magic 8 ball. I knew that he would tell me straight forward without fluff or sugar coatings. I asked if i would ever see him. The answer was as plain as "No".

I've done my part i know, and i know somewhere in the future, he will look back and regret. For i do not see how he can lie to himself that we were anything less then perfect.

SPIW

Ive been an intern for 2 mths now and i think ive been treated well and am pretty lucky to work in a very relaxed enviroment. I get decent work and i dont get bullied. But there are other people i know (and i have experienced a little) that have to do this ridiculous work. You know, making coffee, photocopying, stamp licker, etc.

I have to pay 1k+ rm to do my internship, i dont see why i need to pay to do something like that. Not many interns get thier money's worth and many do not get paid. Many do not even learn anything about thier field of work.

So ive started the Society for the Protection of Intern Welfare (SPIW). Help me help other interns who have been mistreated and misguided by thier institution. Together we can make this world a better place for interns.

:)

attention whore

Its funny how someone likes u for some time and u have no intentions of having anything with that person and actually avoid that person. Then u find out he likes another and you get jealous.

Am i just missing the attention or what?

Customs Killed my Christmas

I got my package from Germany, my prize for 4th place. My sis woke me up and told me and i was so happie... jumping out of bed to go open it. It was like christmas! i felt like a kid happie to open presents! But when i opened the biggest prize (the wooden settlers of catan set), it was empty. The bags and casing were there, but absolutely nothing in it. Empty. Zip. Nada. Zero. And the latch was broken.

It felt like Christmas was ruined. I was waiting so long to get it, just that damn box. We suspect that it might have been customs or the baggage handlers. But theres no way to prove it. So Edwin said he will email them and try and get a replacement. I really hope so, cos i love that set sooo much.

But if anyone knows how to find out what happened or who i can sue for taking my prize, please tell me.

Stop Haunting Me

I'm trying to do different things to distract myself. I want to forget him and things that remind me of him. Cos i know this is getting unhealthy. If he has no concern for me why should i care about him. So im doing different stuff, just trying to keep myself busy.

I was checking an old chat (imvu) and then i see that hes on my friends list. I didnt even know he was on imvu! Where can i go where he doesnt haunt me.

So im getting involved with an old fling again. Hes always been nice to me and hes a good guy. But with him i see so much of him that i wish was different. That i wish was more like the person im trying to forget. I wish we had the same passion, i wish he was just as crazy and fun.

The thing about him (the person i want to forget) is that hes my total equal, and i love that in a partner. We can do the same crazy things and have arguments over religion for hours. I love that he mentally stimulates me. I love the fact that hes practically my twin cos we are so alike in so many ways. And i miss that. And every guy that has come by for a year+ has been compared to him. I know it, i just didnt want to admit him. I wouldnt say i love him, cos i dont think i do. Its just that ive put him on a pedestal, a benchmark. He is my ideal man. I just need to forget that he is, and move on to next best or better.

Facebook Whore

Ok so ive been neglecting my blog. So what have ive been up to? Honestly... facebook. Its sad but its true. Everytime im online its what ive been doing, facebook.

I joined this really cute program there called Human Pets. Its so much fun. You get to buy people, including your friends and you get to name them whatever nickname u want. And people get to buy you too, so theres alot of nice clean fun. I'm hooked. I got an awesome owner and i love buying cute men with long hair.. Hehehe...

I'm such a facebook whore.

PS: Run just reminded me that my birthday is in a few weeks, and i havent planned anything yet. argh! i have to wait for my elder sis to get back from china before i plan anything and my younger sis wont be able to make it cos shes join to Langkawi.. sucks.

Wrong Dog

im emo~

My friend from US and i were talking about going to visit him when i go to US next year. He was talking about the stuff we can do and how i would love to meet his dog. And the first thing i thought was 'yea i always wanted to meet Tobey (Wojtek's dog)'. I dont know how it popped in my head but it just did.

And just as i thought about it, my music player plays G&R- Don't Cry. Which happens to be my Wojtek emo theme song. Argh... I swear my computer is trying to make me depressed.

I always wanted to meet Tobey, i heard so much about him from Wojtek, and how hes so cute and silly and smart. Argghhh... wrong dog Triona, wrong dog!

Blondes Have More Fun

I woke up 3 days ago and decided, I WANNA BE BLONDE! It just hit me like that, i open my eyes and figured i needed an excuse to be bimbo. So i did it! I was abit reluctant, i was afraid i might look abit ah lian. But i think it suits me, sad to say.

Still slightly copper
My roots are super blond while the rest of my hair is dark blonde
Im Blonde Baby!
With flash it looks red :/